At Home

A night of swirling colours...illuminated by Strange, Emily. A night at Home...candlelight filled with drunken expositions. A night of revelations...and dead illusions. A night when a dream was born...only to be banished. For Delirium will never be Delight again.

"Off The Wall @ The Singapore Art Museum

Dreaming of Despair

Celine

Sol was Emily Strange

Delirious

Anita & DJ Storm @ Home - Toothy

Delirium Who Used To Be Delight

"It was then that Delirium noticed that she had absentmindedly transformed herself into a hundred and eleven perfect, tiny, multicolored fish. Each fish sang a different song. And as she put herself back together again, unable for the moment to remember whether the silver flecks went in the blue eye or the green one, she decided that a dog would be a nice thing to have. And then it occurred to her that there had been a dog around at some point, hadn't there? A nice doggie. And she went off to look for it, trailing occasional fish ..."

"What's the word for when you used to love somebody and now you don't anymore but every time you look at them you remember sort of that you used to love them?"

"I have days like that all the time. I kept going all butterflies, before. And fishies. I couldn't help it."

"Sometimes it's too hard to hold everything together. I think it used to be easier but I'm not sure. Maybe you could be fishies for a while instead."

Colour Test

Existing Problem
Working to create for herself a firm foundation on which to erect a secure, comfortable, and problem-free future, in which she will be granted respect and recognition.

Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

Restrained Characteristics
Feels rather isolated and alone, but is too reserved to allow herself to form deep attachments. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Desired Objective
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.

Actual Problem
Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts

Actual Problem #2
The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity.

To take the Colour Quiz: http://www.colorquiz.com/

More Quotes

In line with my recent penchant for "quotes", here are some memorable ones from sources closer to home.


Claudius' infamous retort to the comforting tripe "don't worry, there's lots of other fish in the sea"...

BUT YOU CAN'T SHAG FISH!!


Peter's exasperated explanation of the concept of syllables to Christoph before a game of charades;

FUCK IS ONE SYLLABLE, FUCK YOU IS TWO SYLLABLES!!


My reflex retort to Sonia's innocent query - Doctors have the Hippocratic Oath, what do lawyers have?

THE HYPOCRITIC OATH!!

The Velveteen Rabbit

by Margery Williams


The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."


For the full story : http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html

Soul Hurt

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

Neil Gaiman

David & Bathsheba

Thus, one day the Lord sent a prophet by the name of Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, "There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb that he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him." When David heard this story, he burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this deserves to die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity!" Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. …I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Amonites. Now, therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own. This is what the Lord says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel!'" Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the Lord!" Nathan replied, "The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the Lord show utter contempt, the son born to you will die." Nathan went home.

The Third Alternative

“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.”

I finished the story and looked up. A heartbeat of silence.

"That was beautiful", he says spellbound.

And suddenly the moment is frozen. To be kept in a safe place and called upon when the colours drain away again and one walks in a swirling mist of gray.

The pain of the evening ceases to weigh so heavily. The treachery of a friend who leaves one to sob on a step in a teeming mass of humanity forgiven.

It would have been the perfect ending to a perfect day. The much-awaited Mirrormask, Thai food, finally being able to afford a Neil Gaiman Sandman and dancing with Muna. But it wasn't; there was just the inability to breathe.

There seemed to be two of us, walking side by side, sometimes hand in hand. The 'real me' held me occasionally and tried to make it all better. "You are just upset because it meant less than nothing and you are not that person", I said to myself.

The night went by in a blur and I found myself at supper reading the story...

“It is sometimes a mistake to climb; it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt. If you do not climb you will not fall. This is true. But is it that bad to fail, that hard to fall? Sometimes you wake, and sometimes, yes, you die. But there is a third alternative.”

***********************************

"That's how I am. I am never afraid to fall cos I KNOW I will fly", he says matter- of-factly

I smile, "Yes, that you do".

The moment unfreezes.