Rooftop Reminisces

"Life is a series of rooftop moments"

Saad did his infamous quizzical eyebrow raise and went off to join Peter and Nitin, wisely deciding that I was better left to ruminate alone.

We were all on the rooftop of Nitin's condominium. It was 32 floors high and then some. It looked out on East Coast beach. The sea was calm that night (the sea is generally calm in Singapore anyway) and the ships blinked cheerily. The lights of the highway stretched out in front of me, reaching out towards the city. But all of us had eschewed a night on the town for a rooftop nicely stocked with good company, good conversation, alcohol, snacks and cigarettes.

As the halfmoon hung sickly in the sky and lightning flashed on my left, far into the sea - I thought of that other rooftop moment. It was 13 years ago and the sea crashed and raged, while the moon was low and beautiful in the sky. We were by the southern-most tip of India where three oceans converged - quite unhappily it seemed. The 3 of us seemed to echo the turbulence of the waves, although we sat together talking quietly and calmly.

We had come together again briefly in a moment of crisis but the last 13 years had taken its toll. We were different people now, life had scarred us - perhaps irredeemably. We would never have that moment on the rooftop again. Though we all had aching hearts - we grew to care for each other that night. Was it all over now? I clung to the memory of that night- of the waves and the moon and the quiet conversation. Perhaps that memory was all I had- all I would ever have from now on.

I leapt ahead a decade or so. Sitting on the roof of Raffles Hall Block 5. Drinking beer and spouting silly poetry. Good times. Great times. Also nothing but memories.

Lightning flashed in the south again and I shook off the cloud of the past - I was never very good at guilt or regret. After all, how could I regret the things I had enjoyed or feel guilty about the people I had loved?

And so I turned around and joined the guys in creating another rooftop moment.