The weekend. I DID NOT go out. I know it's surprising to me too. In my defence I am really ill. Flu bug yet again. I hate it how 'cos we're all cooped up in one place, how if one falls we all fall. Usually I am pretty immune and walk tall while everyone is sniffling and watery-eyed. Yeah it's a mistaken notion that I am a snivelling unhealthy weakling. Still here I am down the second time in as many months. Ah well, even the best fall down sometime :-p.
It's a good change, was getting tired of the endless cycle of clubbing and movies. Thank God for the Pictionary party we had for Kaying's farewell (miss that girl!) a couple of weeks ago. Have never seen Camilla so pissed. Tee Hee I gave up the Hall bash for it and that turned out to be a good decision. Christov told me there was a fight and he had to do "rescue" duty. I hate fights and while we are at it, I hate drunk people and I absolutely hate drunk people who fight. Still it's typical Hall. I guess some things will never change. Not entirely a good thing that.
Am actually much better, flu-wise. Harveen provided me with a massive midnight infusion of Teh "O" Halia Limau Panas which did the trick and unblocked the various congested passages. Really nice to re-connect with old acquaintances. Not that I ever really knew the NUS Debators having been otherwise occupied with the NTU and UKM bunches. My loss as it turned out. Wish I had continued debating when I joined NUS but just got caught up in Hall stuff and being able to write. Still I missed out on a lot especially since looking back, Hall was a bit of a dud.
It's really great how God sends people into your life to fill up the vacuum left by those who leave. These couple of months have been peppered with the end of friendships. Some people left physically and some left emotionally. Have been getting reallly tired of trips to the airport and trips down into despair. These things always seem to happen at major transition points in my life. Everytime it happens, I think I'll never be able to find that sort of a connection with another person again but within minutes I am proved wrong.
So I guess this post is a little about these people who refresh the heart. I didnt' really intend for this blog to be introspective at all. And it will not be (I have my livejournal to angstify on) but I'd just like to take a little space to acknowledge those who have been my board and my fireside.
Renu, of course. My moral compass. The only one I listen to in terms of character critique. Well, she does it so rarely and only because she cares, its the least I can do. My mom just remarked to me how I tend to fall ill when she is away, I guess she is my immunity against the storms of the outside world. We have had our ups and downs , of course, but largely we have survived.
Who would have thunk? Our tenth year together. I love how she is so accepting yet caring enough to point out your faults. I love her strength in weeding out the toxic people in her life without guilt, something I should learn and live by. I love the way she believes she deserves respect and refuses to countenance those who do not provide it. I love how she has braved adversity and stands tall against all odds. I love how she keeps no grudges nor remembers past sins. She is even worse than I am in this respect :-p. She wishes well to all her enemies and detractors alike. I love her sense of independence and her fierce sense of loyalty for her friends.
Recent experiences have taught me that I tend to be too naive and trusting when it comes to people. Always believing the best of them against insurmountable evidence . So it's really nice to have one person in your life who is always true to form and never disappoints. A person who is as decent, honourable and loyal as you expect a friend to be.
The next person is, of course, Archana. Sometimes I guess the whole karma thing actually works and you are rewarded for your good works and a saint of sorts strays along your path :-p Thanks for being there. For not indulging me in my negative bitching when you could of easily done so. For always being fair in your comments and supportive in your actions. For understanding and helping me out of the pit that I had stumbled into. For your loyalty, affection and genuine warmth. Everyone needs a rock of sorts in the storm of life, a stable emotional presence; calming and kind. Thanks for being my rock :-p
PLC has also brought me in touch with my fellow law-people in a way that 4 years of lawschool somehow never did. I know. My fault. Should have turned up at class more often. Somehow tea-time at hall always seemed more alluring. My loss again. The hall law people are, of course, the best. Jo, Jayne and Faizal. Man where would I be without you guys. Still, I am grateful to PLC for Harjean. That garang, gorgeous bhai girl who is a soul-mate in the complete embracing of nefarious pursuits :-p. Damn Damn that I wasn't close to you in law school. Have always had a weakness for "spunky" girls. It is virtually impossible though to find a true blue funky
honest-to-goodness foul-mouthed little bitch, and goddamit if I had not gone and done exactly that :-p. I luff you! Finally someone with a sense of justice and fair-play, who calls life the way it is and makes no excuses for herself or others. Someone who will not wallow in misery and will not countenance anyone doing so as well. And finally someone with a sense of loyalty so profound it seems straight out of a book. I have always considered most indian girls (read india indian girls and singapore indian girls) to be fairly uninteresting, vapid and vain creatures that tear out your soul with their constant whining and obsession with their beings. It's really nice to meet the exception to the rule :-p
There are of course tons more. I remember how most people thought I would collapse into a quivering morass of Sunita-Jelly when Meyghan left. Everyone except Meyghan of course who knew me too well. I do miss you though! Would just like to mention a few briefly and then move on to what this blog is really about : cataloguing my nefarious pursuits and crazy-brained ideas.
Sonia, of course, thanks a bundle for everything. I guess we cancerians have the same ethical compass in many regards but I love how nothing really gets you down. Your supreme confidence in your abilities and your supreme energy to make your dreams into reality. All the while without losing your sense of self or acquiring a veneer of bitterness. Of course it does help that you are one of my quintessential "spunky" girls whom I respect and admire. It's really hard being someone's hero, but somehow you do it really well.
Gosh now I can't seem to stop. Arpita. Arpita thou goddess. You are like a diamond. Your sheer crystalline clarity has done much to drop the scales from my eyes. That and the fact that we always have fun with each other. Always :-p. Damn you though. You figured me out so fast :-p No one does and you did at the drop of a hat. Thou art truly brilliant.
And the boys of course. S1; finally a guy I can actually talk to without having to worry about using big words or presenting too complicated a thought process. Someone I can be quiet with and not worry about awkward silences. That rare phenomenon : a guy with no hangups. They don't make them like you anymore :-p. Claudius, thou bastion of cool. Archit, you are a wonder when one just needs someone to talk to. The hallboys Sriram, Ani, Venki and Prasana (how I miss Moritz), so lepak and happening. Damn all of you. Why can't you be ten years older? Jameen, Maideen and Tony, always there when you need them. Aneesh and Vikram who flit in and flit out of one's life. Always memorably. Now if only they would flit in more :-p
I have to stop now. Or it will go on. And this blog will not fulfill its manifesto. Safe to say, I am grateful to all of you have touched my life. There is a purpose in everything. To those who brought me love and happiness, there is just no earthly way to express my gratitude. I can only hope that I have returned the favour in equal measure at the very least.
And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are
born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
(The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran)
